“Sex and the City,” the TV show that defined what fashion, love, and friendship looked like in the late 90’s and early 2000’s has taken over TikTok, captivating a whole new generation. But instead of celebrating its cultural impact, many new viewers seem to be extracting all the wrong messages and are hyper-focusing on character flaws and dissecting every decision with a level of scrutiny rarely applied to real people.
Receiving the most pushback is Carrie Bradshaw, the show’s iconic protagonist. Carrie, a 32 year old fashion-forward columnist and author, dissecting the seemingly impossible act of finding romance in the Big Apple.
Some people love her for the choices that she makes regarding the man she loves. A lot more people hate her for those exact same reasons. She has been described as the “villain” of the show, with one TikTok user claiming, “Carrie always makes the wrong decisions, she makes Jabs at the girls, she was the other woman with [Her Boyfriend]! Like come on girl, have some self respect!”
The character of Carrie Bradshaw is often torn down in order to praise the three main side characters Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha, as if one woman’s flaws must negate another’s strengths. What many do not seem to grasp, though, is that all four women had faults. All four women were intentionally written as imperfect to depict real-life human beings and our ever-so-flawed nature. This heavily enhances the realism of the series and is the reason so many love the show. The show’s appeal lies in its raw depiction of relationships, heartbreak, and personal growth, capturing the chaos of figuring out life well into your thirties.
The irony in all of this debate is that there is no real villain in “Sex and the City.” The entire show’s premise is to focus on four women who are still figuring out life well into their thirties, navigating the uncharted waters of friendship and love.
The most frequent clips used to attack Bradshaw feature her deeply in love with a man named Mr. Big. The most viral “cancellation” clips show her showing up unannounced at his door, secretly following him to church despite his wishes, or throwing McDonald’s fries at him when he announces his move to Paris. Taken out of context, these moments paint her as irrational, obsessive, even unhinged. But in reality, haven’t we all acted out of character in the wake of love?
Assuming most of us have been in love with somebody, it’s undeniable that the tugging on your heart strings does not bring one to do things that would normally be considered absolutely zany. This raises a question: when a fictional character like Bradshaw is harshly criticized for her actions in the Honeymoon phase, is that just a projection from the audience? Do we hold these characters to an unattainable standard of behavior, or do they simply serve as mirrors reflecting our own flaws and insecurities?
There are times we love Carrie and also times that we cannot stand Carrie. There are times when we roll our eyes at her choices, and others where we cheer for those choices. She is not a perfect character, and she was not written to be. She was written to be herself, a 30-something year old free-spirit. And it just so happens that sometimes she does the right thing, and many times, does the wrong thing. Just like us. That’s the beauty of the show, and that is why so many are hooked.