Friends come and go, and as we get older, our personalities change too. The effect friends have on mental health shows how important it is to surround ourselves with people who care.

Just because someone stood by your side throughout high school doesn’t mean both your interests will change once you hit the age of 30. According to the National Library of Medicine, the brain finishes its development around its mid-20s.

 As high schoolers, we begin to discover the beginning of who we are and what matters to us, which calls for a friendship shift along the way. However, not every person who calls themselves a “friend” has your best interests at heart.  

Sometimes, people we thought were the closest to us grow distant due to the change in goals, values, or interests. This doesn’t mean those relationships weren’t real, but it simply shows how growth can lead in different directions. 

Even though it’s hard to lose the people who you thought were your best friends, learning to accept these changes can help us focus on building even stronger relationships that truly support who we are becoming. 

Part of growing up calls for brutal things to come our way. One example is dealing with fake friends. Identifying fake friends can be painful, but it’s an important step toward protecting your mental health and also protecting your future along the way. When you recognize the signs, you can distance yourself from the negativity and focus on building genuine connections with people who are of value. Fake friends can drain your energy, causing insecurity and lack of confidence. Something to remember along your journey is that quality matters more than quantity when it comes to friendship. Good fellowship is supposed to be built on trust, respect, and support. You can identify a fake friend in many ways. One method is noticing how often they contact you in favor of needing money or help, but disappear when you need support. True friendships involve giving and receiving, not a one-sided convenience. Real friends often celebrate your success, building up confidence. On the other hand, fake friends may downplay your accomplishments, make you feel guilty, or even act jealous.

The most common way fake friends reveal themselves is through gossip. At first, gossip might come out as a “joke” or a one-time thing, but it will quickly turn into a toxic habit that damages trust and spreads negative energy. An anonymous student shares her experience of dealing with false friendships, saying, “My own best friend talked badly about me to others, then lied to my face.” Experiences like this highlight the importance of paying attention to how friends treat you when you’re not around. A true friend will protect your name and stand by you, while a fake friend uses gossip to tear you down. Even though it may hurt to let go of fake friends, letting them go opens doors for healthier and more sincere connections. It’s better to have fewer real friends who share the light than many fake ones who drain your energy. “Friends come and go, but real friends stick to you like family.” Proverbs 18:24. As we move on with our journey, we realize that not everyone who calls themselves a friend truly is one. Fake friends will only be in your life for a short amount of time, while true friends stay constant, uplifting you to make you a better person. Choosing to surround yourself with people who bring the best out of you strengthens your present while also shaping your future. Real friendships are rare, but are worth holding on to due to the fact that they become the foundation for building trust, respect, and love that will last a lifetime.