Since the beginning of time, the ideals of looking flawless have been etched into the brains of women by men. I can imagine, hypothetically, the earliest women in time being told by their husbands that their cheetah skin frocks made them look frumpy, and, in lieu, should wear zebra skins instead.

 Or perhaps they were told their snake skin sandals made their ankles look large, and that all women should wear elephant skin shoes. The point is, for some unknown reason, men have always felt that they should dictate women’s appearances. 

There’s a superiority complex that countless men possess, and most often it’s a feeling of superiority in their appearance over women’s, which has been reflected in society as a whole. 

For example, if a man wears a baggy t-shirt and doesn’t shave, he is viewed as rugged and humble. If a woman does the same, she is sloppy and not put together. 

It has established a subconscious mentality in society that women should constantly look “perfect” by men’s standards, and that if we don’t, we are less valuable. This is detrimental to women’s mental health, but the issue gets brushed off continuously, even by women. I blame this on low self-esteem and the desire for male validation. 

Women have been programmed into believing that striving to fit men’s expectations will fulfill them, that somehow, reaching to be the “perfect woman” will give them attainment. 

However, these standards are very often unrealistic and impossible to attain. So when we don’t reach these unreachable expectations, it feels discouraging. 

Another aspect of this that I think is unfair is that even after all this pressure to look a certain way is pushed upon us, men dare to call us “vain” or “fake” for putting effort into our appearance. No matter what we do, men find ways to diminish our self-esteem. Whether we are putting in too much or too little effort into our appearances, nothing seems to be good enough for their standards of what a woman should look like.

I see this especially with aging. As women get older, they are expected to upkeep their looks so as not to look like “old hags”, but when they do things like get Botox, they are deemed to be trying too hard to look young, desperate.

 I don’t see men having this pressure to stay youthful. In fact, I always see people on social media swooning over middle-aged actors, saying they have “aged like fine wine”. However, when it comes to middle-aged actresses, people say they miss them from when they were younger, and are “past their prime”. 

I’m not a man, but I can certainly tell you that if I were, I wouldn’t analyze my reflection in the mirror half as long as I do as a woman. I wouldn’t compare myself to every female celebrity I see. I wouldn’t wonder if others notice my every imperfection. 

It’s exhausting having to navigate these beauty standards that only apply to women. To dread growing older and getting treated differently for lines on my skin; to perpetually contemplate how I can improve my appearance.