Today’s world is filled with constant comparison. With the appearance of social media, school, peers, and many different types of media outlets, children and teenagers are now attacked from every direction with messages, trends, and pressure about how they should live their lives.
This has created an environment where many high school-aged individuals are now unsure of who they really are or what they truly believe on their own.
Instead of developing their own ideas, many people simply begin following whatever is cool, acceptable, or expected. The desire to be accepted by others creates such a strong need that their novel voices are hushed, before they can even whisper a word.
To understand how pressure affects a real student, I asked one of my teammates, a senior who preferred not to share their name. They said, “When you’re on a team, there is soon much pressure to perform well and not mess up, especially also trying to keep your grade up to stay on the team is also a big pressure.”
Social media also puts pressure on unnoticed individuals. Students scroll through their social media daily and see perfect photos, people saying whatever they want with confidence, and an unlimited number of people sharing strong opinions.
When someone expresses their opinion online with a great amount of certainty, it is tempting for others to agree with that person instead of voicing their own differing point of view.
The fear of being judged, excluded, or criticized by others keeps many individuals from speaking up. The longer individuals remain silent about their opinions, the more uncertainty can develop regarding whether they genuinely care about their opinions, whether they feel like their opinion is worth sharing.
Expressing oneself is often more difficult due to the school atmosphere.
In many cases, students are taught that there is one “right” answer, encouraging students to really think about the subject. As a result, many teens will only “play it safe” and write the answer in class if they believe the teacher wants them to write or only answer in class if they know they will be correct in their response.
They will also tend to focus on doing the activities that other students approve of. It’s natural to play it safe, but this type of behavior will keep a person from finding out who they really are and what their interests are, or their true abilities.
A senior in my government class who also preferred to stay anonymous explained, “I would never like to speak up for myself because I was afraid people would judge me for it, but I realize you care if people judge me. I shouldn’t listen to what people have to say about me.”
Having your voice is not about being loud, obnoxious, or going against everything. Having your voice is the ability to listen to yourself before listening to everyone else. It is about finding out what has value to you, what you believe in, and what choice of actions feels like you.
Often your choice will agree with others, often they won’t, and that’s fine. Your own unique voice can only be discovered through allowing yourself the freedom to make mistakes. Many people are afraid to speak up for fear of being judged by others or sounding different than those around them.
The process of growing up includes many mistakes that allow you to gain greater insights about yourself. At first, when you explore new things such as hobbies, clubs, or class discussions, you may feel anxious. But with every single step that you take towards yourself, you will gain more confidence.
As time goes by, these small steps will help you develop a stronger and clearer identity.