In high school, there is this expectation that you experience your first kiss, first love, and first heartbreak. It is a requirement of social standards that one occur within these four formative years.

But what happens when you don’t experience that?

While everyone around you is doing promposals and hard launches, you begin to wish you had someone to date – we want to be part of the fuss. Or you wish other people would just stop dating altogether. 

Whichever boat you’re in, you’re not alone. 

Dating has become so intertwined with high school culture that it is viewed as more normal to date rather than to not. Adults have even begun thinking it’s strange if teens don’t. 

It’s seen as a natural part of adolescence – dating and having crushes. And yes, it is. However, for some of us, it isn’t that simple.

Whether you don’t have a crush, don’t want to date, or have a crush and want to date but feelings aren’t reciprocated, being single is a struggle.

It is especially difficult when all of your friends are in relationships or talking stages.

Feeling like you’re missing out, you’re constantly excluded from an experience everyone else seems to have. 

It’s like all your friends are at some big party without you. You desperately want to go, because you know it will be fun, but you’re stuck at home. 

Then you have to watch them post about it and listen to them talk about it for the next month.

One of the worst feelings is listening to all your friends talk about what’s happening with their love lives, and you have nothing to say about your own. Having them turn to you, asking the same, tired question: when are you going to get a boyfriend? 

Suddenly, you feel so utterly uninteresting. 

And worst of all: being the dreaded third wheel.

All of the one-on-one time you would usually spend with your friends has to include their significant others. 

At events, you can’t just hang out with your friends, because they are running off to their crushes. So you have to either tag along with them or stand alone. 

They still try to include you, but then it feels like it’s an act out of pity. 

You want with all your heart to be happy for them, to be truly glad they are head over heels and having these experiences. 

But your own heart is getting hurt in the process, and they don’t even notice because they are so blind-sided by their rose-colored glasses. 

Inevitably, when your friends are in relationships, their significant other becomes their main focus, and their friends get pushed aside.

Despite all this, I actually do believe not dating until after high school has its benefits. 

Being single gives you more time to focus on your own growth and ambitions. 

You don’t become dependent on someone else, giving you more room to become your own person during these formative years.

You’re able to watch and observe other people’s relationships, which helps give you a better understanding of how they work.

Listening to your friends talk about relationships can help give you a better grasp of your own values, making you better prepared for your own future relationships.

In high school, you are growing so much as a person and developing your own standards and ideals. Waiting until after high school to date gives yourself time to really blossom into your own identity.

So, when times seem tough being single, just remember, your time will come when you’re ready and have already grown into your authentic self.