As humans, we are ever-changing, and our mindsets grow and evolve, but with that, each and every one of us is prone to making mistakes. However, those mistakes range in size, and so do their impacts, making it more challenging to forgive certain people rather than others.
In no way do I believe that people who find themselves searching for forgiveness because of the appalling mistakes they have made or said should not be held accountable. Still, there is an interesting standard that we as a society have created regarding who we will actually forgive and what type of actions are forgivable.
This idea is most backed up by the way social media has altered the amount of information we are able to know about each other, which indirectly created the “cancel culture” portion of the internet that is constantly gaining more popularity.
In theory, the behavior associated with the cultural phenomenon was originally supposed to be something that educated the individual and held them accountable for the things they have done. However, this has turned into witch hunts to find any possible dirt a person has on them, from now to the second their presence began on social media.
One of the biggest issues with this type of mindset is there is no willingness to forgive. The actions individuals made years ago, or as young immature minds are held to the same degree as if it was done yesterday. This remains true even if it is completely obvious the person has truly matured and doesn’t agree with the person they were when they were doing the distasteful activities that upset people.
Social media influencers that have been deemed “canceled” are more often than not completely ostracized from the internet, any attempt to apologize is rejected and usually mocked. People find any nuance in the apology and criticize it, claiming there was something they should have done to make it seem more genuine.
This opened my eyes to the fact that people do not care for any expression of regret these internet celebrities showcase because, once someone has made the decision in their mind not to forgive, it is done no matter what is said or done. This grudge is now set in stone, but this reveals the intense amount of hypocrisy we carry.
Society has begun to view influencers and celebrities on a sort of pedestal, we idolize them and so, when it is found out they are not as “perfect” as what was imagined, their mistakes are magnified on an unimaginable scale. Yet, this is not even close to the way the majority of people truthfully act in real life.
I can see this, especially as a high school student, where the hallways are filled with conversations that could get someone shunned on social media, and yet no one bats an eye. The same people who are in the comment section of a video bashing the actions that an individual is relentlessly trying to apologize for will forgive their friends for doing the exact same things.
Within the world of influencers lies some of the most evident hypocrites, the ones who hop onto the bandwagon of people berating the figure, but have also contributed their fair share of “unforgivable” mistakes.
Still, the internet is forgetful, everyday there are people who escaped the hold they were in without actually being forgiven, simply because the next crazy thing happened. However, this is a major issue with this because being forgetful is not the same thing as forgetting entirely, social media will never actually let go of the things you did and they will resurface, making the same group of people angry once again.
Radio host Bernard Meltzer once said, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future”. Accepting this can help rid the bias of forgiveness, expanding the inclination we have to pardon someone can help the overall growth of one’s character.
Outside of social media there is often still a struggle to forgive that stems from our own hypocritical nature. The relationships we have with people completely affect our ability to justify and forgive their actions, adding to the bias.
The people we have a harder time forgiving can not be classified as an exception to the rule that we are all imperfect beings who slip up all of the time. Because, if we do, we must also make ourselves an exception and strive for perfection to avoid being a complete hypocrite.
Not everyone deserves forgiveness all the time. There are a surplus of times when we, as individuals, don’t owe anyone the acceptance of an apology. However, weighing out the wrongs you have personally committed with those of an individual you are not fond of is usually just a way of protecting your own ego.